


Kindly Now

by mono_ko



Series: Prompts [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Angst??, Homophobia, M/M, Sex, aged-up, men being idiots, probably an unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 02:45:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17337221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mono_ko/pseuds/mono_ko
Summary: God, the last thing Leopold Stotch wanted was to have to move back into his parents' home after his failed marriage. The other thing he didn't want to do, or rather, he didn't want to want to do it, was to fall back into this unhealthy pattern with Kenny McCormick. But here he is, again, heaving breathlessly under Kenny's body one moment, and then laying wide awake with a tinge of regret the next while Kenny slept. How the hell did he end up here again? And again and again and again?





	Kindly Now

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I had meant for this to be a short piece, to just get back into writing without overthinking it. But of course, I had to overthink it so here's just the first chapter of this thing. I'm rusty as hell, but please feel free to leave comments and critique for me. It would be very much appreciated!
> 
> This is for the first of [chrmdpoet's dialogue prompt set](http://chrmdpoet.tumblr.com/post/162406220799/50-dialogue-prompts): _“It’s really not that complicated.”_
> 
> If you have Spotify, I'd just like to recommend [this song](https://open.spotify.com/track/0WFMMcOOS78tbXCHRfs3LM?si=l9WUTuMsT8O_kQ-aZmmtbA) for your consideration while reading this. Anyway, thank you for your time :)
> 
>  **EDIT:** shit oh yeah I forgot to mention that they're like... in their thirties just because I'm into that.

Leopold had been faced with the devastating reality of his failed marriage to his ex-husband, Mark, at the time, and found himself left with no real choice but to move back to his small, quiet hometown. His divorce had gone down messily and to be honest, Leopold often felt like a wreck of a person, still grieving in the aftermath of all that he had lost, despite knowing that both parties had fallen out of love a long time ago. It was a dead marriage, accompanied with a dead bedroom, and a long-forgotten love that had gone past a controlled tolerance to petty arguments over the most minor of pet peeves.

Every day since then felt almost like a reprieve from those miserable moments, until Leopold remembered where he was. ' _Out of the frying pan and into the fire’_ , the man mused to himself. The only difference was the stark lack of warmth. His parents had been cold and far more caustic than he remembered them being. They chided him for having ever gone through with the marriage in the first place, still convinced that it was all just a phase and that now he was ready for a real life and family, preferably a heterosexual one. Their disappointment in him and his inability to live up to what they expected of him was clear as day, with the elder Stotches constantly pestering him about his divorce and his plans for the future. As if he had answers . As if he really knew how it all began to fell apart and how he was supposed to pick it all back up now. Leopold could hear it in their nagging, the tone of voice that was really saying, _‘now, we warned you Butters, we told you it was a bad idea. Now look how you messed it all up!’_ and he was tired of it. The constant nagging was wearing him down and a small voice in the back of his mind seemed to agree with his parents. Maybe he should have listened to them, maybe if he did, then things wouldn't have turned out this way. Perhaps he wouldn’t be so desolate and be forced to move into his parents’ home, the last place on earth that he'd really expected to be back at.

Okay actually, scratch that. The _second_ -last place on earth, really, seeing as he was laying wide awake and butt-naked on Kenny McCormick's threadbare bed. So now, that definitely had to place for the top rank on the list. Leopold had always felt surprisingly comfortable here, in Kenny’s bare room, with only trashy NASCAR and Playboy posters as decorations plastered on to hide the cracks on the walls. It looked almost just like Leopold had remembered it in his youth. He really hadn’t expected to be back here again so easily… And he definitely hadn’t expected to be back again and again and again and again...

The two men had been at this for a while now. All it took was a text of “ _hey butters heard u were back in town. hang out?”_ and Leopold inadvertently found himself at Kenny’s place, giving new life to their old bad “habit”. It didn’t feel so bad at first, with Leopold being more than happy to just spend the night with Kenny’s company, away from the rest of the world. Kenny never tried to dig deeper than Leopold liked, never tried to ask him a million questions about his divorce or why he returned or anything. And the younger blond appreciated that, it was such a breath of fresh air compared to all the nosy crap he’d get from the other townspeople. He could just step away from his problems and into Kenny’s world instead, and feel like he was young again. Sometimes they’d spend time just binging on terrible old films that had somehow survived the test of time and made it onto Netflix. Or they’d sit around reading old comics that Kenny had collected, leaving Leopold feeling nostalgic about the days they had shared before he had first left the town. He never brought it up though and neither would Kenny, instead, they’d make frozen pizza and discuss the new pizza place in town that had vending machines that dispensed pizzas, going on like nothing ever happened between them in the past. It was much easier to just focus on mocking people who would eat lumpy, cold pizza shat out by a machine, or whatever new crazy thing had taken over South Park for the week.

But it wouldn’t be long before someone would get distracted, and either Kenny would start groping at Leopold’s chest and tweaking his nipples, or Leopold would be busy pressing a line of delicate kisses up Kenny’s thigh, before teasing and taking his length into his mouth. Warm hands would begin running over heated skin with abandon, creating a hunger in Leopold that could only be satiated by Kenny’s touch. Digits pressing against him, roughly entering him, and seeking out all the spots that made him moan wantonly until Kenny kisses him to shut him up. Tongues intermingling, forcing the smoky taste and scent of cigarette smoke into Leopold’s mouth, reminding him of the smoky, musky scent that Kenny had always smelled like. He craved that burning sensation of skin on skin and the intense, painful pleasure of being filled to the brim with Kenny’s cock as the man thrusts into him. Kenny would grunt and call out his name - the hint of desperation in his voice only drawing more blood to Leopold’s own member. His jerking off would get more erratic and sloppy as he tightened around Kenny’s cock in response, eager to squeeze every last breathy _“God Butters, you feel so good, fuck”_ out of Kenny. The older man’s grip would gradually tighten around Leopold, leaving deep red marks on his pale skin until he could no longer hold it in and came messily over Leopold’s ass. It almost felt like a ritual by now, albeit one that felt damn good.

And when the next day dawned, if they ran into each other in town, they would act as though absolutely nothing had happened between them.

With Kenny, things were always comfortable and familiar. This felt like they were young again, just like the old days, as if nothing had changed, once again. Maybe it felt just a little too much like when they were young again, and maybe that was why Leopold was so hesitant to question the status quo. It was starting to bug Leopold, slowly unraveling a new ball of insecurities in his mind. It’s not as if they hadn’t already been through all of this before as young teenagers, before Leopold had been shipped off hours away, to New York to begin his college career. Even back then, he had always thought he could get used to this, snuggling into Kenny’s bed under the worn-out sheets carelessly patched together by an obviously unskilled hand. A much younger Leopold then had mistakenly thought that all of that would have led to them becoming boyfriends and being officially out together. He thought he wouldn’t have minded, even if his parents found out and got angry about the two of them being together. It would have been worth it, to be with Kenny. But as the days counted down to his departure, nothing changed. Kenny had bid him a civil, unemotional farewell, and Leopold had left South Park with his heart aching and bruised, nursing barely restrained tears on the plane to New York. Leopold hadn’t heard from the man since, until his return to South Park.

And now, Leopold just laid silently on his side, trying to ignore the soreness in his legs and ass, instead just staring contemplatively at Kenny's face as the older man slumbered. He felt a bit stupid being here again, almost tinged with regret. Kenny looked so vulnerable and harmless in his sleep, his beautiful long lashes fluttering as he dreamt, and it made Leopold’s heart tinge with a longing ache. The peaceful sight combined with his inability to will himself to sleep drew out a sense of frustration in Leopold and he sighed softly to himself. It was just another one of those nights when he could not stop his mind from going wild with thoughts of ‘ _what the hell am I doing here’_.

It only felt right to leave, for the sake of his own sanity. Leopold forced himself up and out of the warmth of Kenny’s bed as carefully as he could manage, not wanting to disturb the man’s sleep. He gingerly picked up his clothing off the floor, avoiding the leftover food packaging strewn around on the ground and hoping none of his clothes had pizza grease or whatever on it. His briefs were still damp, and honestly, kind of gross… But Leopold had always been ridiculously good at ignoring things that he didn’t quite like and doing them anyway, and he just pulled them on without a second thought. After getting dressed quickly and quietly, he exited the bedroom and closed the door gently after himself.

“Not gonna stay tonight, huh?” He was already at the front door when a girlish voice startled him unexpectedly and he almost jumped in response.

“Um, y-yeah, I couldn’t get to sleep, so I thought I’d head home,” Leopold fidgeted with his knuckles, feeling like an embarrassed teenager that got caught sneaking out of the house again. Nothing quite like being caught leaving after a midnight tryst, huh, and with his underwear still sticky and shameful.

“Sorry if that woke you up, Karen.”

“Nah, it wasn’t you, this one’s been keeping me up,” Karen was seated on the couch, gently rocking a baby to sleep in her arms. “Margaret got hungry, so... That means no sleep for good ol’ mommy.”

Leopold let out a soft chuckle and knelt down next to Karen to take a closer look at the child.

“She’s still adorable though, the precious lil’ thing,” he started to coo at the babe, “aww, lookit you, little Margie! Aren’t you just the sweetest lil’ babe ever? Now, be a good girlie and let your momma rest...”

Karen couldn’t help but giggle at Leopold’s attempt at baby-talk.

“Thanks, Butters. I’m sure she understood all of that.”

“You’re more than welcome, Karen. It’s Butters, the baby-whisperer, at your service!”

Leopold had helped to babysit a few times since starting this whole, um, thing, with Kenny. Both Karen and her husband often worked such long hours that they struggled to find help with their daughter. Leopold, still in the midst of figuring his own shit out in South Park, couldn’t help but acquiesce to their request to help babysit in return for, well, nothing much but good will really. It was fine though, for Leopold, he was more than happy for something to help him pass the time. Given how often he was over at their shared home with Kenny nowadays, it only made sense to help out here and there. Margaret was kind of a fussy child but there was such a fierce determination and brightness to her, that it made Leopold feel a bit better about everything that had happened. Even if things hadn’t gone so well for him and Mark, it cheered him up to know and see that some of the other people he cared about were happy and doing well now. He felt like maybe there were things worth sticking around South Park for and that it wasn’t _all_ bad. He was pointedly not thinking about including Kenny in that equation though.

“So how are things going between you and Kenny?”

 _‘Darn it.’_ Somehow, Karen always seemed to be able to pick up on what was on Leopold’s mind. It was an uncanny ability she had and he wasn’t sure if it was just a thing that little sisters did or if Karen actually hada superpower of some kind. Either way, if it turned out that Karen was a witch or something like that, Leopold wouldn’t even be fazed by the news.

“Well, they’re… They’re going, I guess. I think we’re going okay. I don’t really know, Karen.” He smiled wearily and shrugged, unable to find the right words to answer her question adequately. She was poised to pry into this and Leopold knew it.

“I mean, you know how it is, with the all the stuff going on,” he waved his arms around, as if to signify the “stuff” he mentioned, and the **Great Importance** of the “stuff” as such. It seemed kind of silly, but Leopold couldn’t stop himself from doing it anyway. He felt compelled to justify how not-so-great things were going, just like he always did with everyone else who asked, and his parents who never stopped asking.

“If you don’t really know, why not just try asking him?” She said matter-of-factly. It just seemed like the most rational, logical thing to do, and Karen herself knew her brother well enough to know that he often kept his real feelings and thoughts to himself. That was just an idiot of a man sometimes, that needed to be pushed and hassled for answers, in Karen’s opinion.

“Well, um, it’s just…” His voice trailed off again. He scrambled to think up a way to say ‘I’m scared to do so because I fear the answer will not be favorable to myself’ without actually saying all of that and sounding too lame.

“I-it’s just not, you know, the right time.” Leopold finally answered lamely.

Karen looked at him intently, as if she was trying to peer into his mind and study his inner thoughts. Leopold just shrugged again and turned to smile at little Margaret, resorting to cooing baby noises again in an attempt to shake Karen off.

The woman sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to get much more out of him for now.

“Go home and get some rest, Stotch. I’ll be putting Margie to bed soon.” He noticed that she only used his last name when she was in Mom-Mode, ordering him around with an implied ‘ _it’s for your own good, Stotch’_. Or was that a little sister thing too? Leopold wasn’t too sure, but he obliged anyway.

“Will do, Missus McCormick-Lawry! Just one last thing to do here.”

Leopold crouched down and bid lil’ Margie a goodbye in a sickeningly sugary tone.

“Have the sweetest of dreams, lil’ pumpkin, may all of them be of the grandest and funnest adventures!” Leopold murmured tenderly to the baby in Karen’s arms.

“‘Funnest’ isn’t a word, Butters, don’t teach her made-up things” Karen sighed again. Butters was always so mushy when it came to the baby. It was adorable and sweet of him but sometimes it was just too much - like right now, when Karen was exhausted and ready to go back to sleep. “You’re going to spoil my child like this, you know. Go on, out of my house with you now, Stotch!”

“Geez, alright, I’m just doing my baby-whisperer thing. C’mon, Karen, you hafta let me do that.”

She shook her head exasperatedly and laughed.

“G’night Butters. Be good.” Karen ushered him out of the front door and quickly added, “to yourself, I mean.”

“Yeah, thanks Karen, I will. Rest well, I’ll see you guys again.”

The man waved goodbye as she closed the door, and began the walk back home in the cold, breezy night. It always felt so lonely doing this. South Park had always been fairly brutal in the night-time, with temperatures that felt like they were capable of even freezing his insides. Leopold tugged his coat tighter around himself to defend from the cold and the still darkness of the night. He found himself unable to move on from thinking about what Karen had asked earlier.

Y'know, it’s not that Leopold hadn’t considered that, to just ask Kenny what they were to each other. It was that he had thought of it, but in every iteration of the outcome he’d played out alone at night in his mind, it just seemed like it would end badly no matter what. There used to be a time when he would blindly believe that everything would turn out well somehow , as long as he kept at it and kept trying. But look at what happened to him and Kenny. And then what happened with Mark. No one could say that Leopold didn’t try his best in that relationship. Despite how it ended, the harsh truth of it was just that it wasn’t always enough. Matters of the heart tended to to be far more complex than Leopold’s simple, straightforward and earnest approach to everything could manage. That agonizing realization had hit him like a ton of bricks, right to the face, once Mark had served him with the divorce papers. It had chipped away at him since, eroding his self-confidence and leaving him wrecked with self-doubt more often than not. Leopold’s heart had already broken far before that moment but seeing the physical, definite proof that symbolized the actual, concrete end of their relationship? It fucking _hurt_ and he could feel his already fragile heart shatter into pieces again, accompanied by an uncomfortable uncertainty about whether or not he would ever be able to piece it back together again.

 _‘It still hurt to think about it too.’_ Leopold thought wistfully to himself as he trudged up the stairs silently to what once used to be his bedroom, grateful to be somewhere warm again. The room now served as a guest room and every trace of his having lived there before had been scrubbed away and replaced with odd inspirational posters that seemed to shame him for not ‘choosing to live everyday happily’. He didn’t remember a time when his parents’ house actually felt like a home to him and these days, it felt even more foreign to him. Leopold always stuck out like a sore thumb, somehow.

Weren’t things good enough for now? If Kenny hadn’t said anything about changing the status of their convenient ‘bum-chums’ relationship, then what was the point of Leopold bringing it up? This booty call thing worked out well enough and the time he spent with Kenny was a great distraction from having to face the rest of his problems. He could just gather up all those feelings of rising affection and romantic attraction and whatever and just, just goddamn cram it far far faaar back into the recesses of his mind. It’s justsex, after all. It was easy enough to just up and leave when Leopold felt those feelings creeping up on him. Just had to run before they got to him, and focus on all the other parts of this arrangement. Like the dick and the balls and the good, purely physical stuff, that didn’t require too much thinking or feelings or falling in lov-- _FUCK._

He hadn’t even meant to think that. It was a lost cause now that he had even thought it, he just knew it. Goddamn Karen and her goddamn questions. Leopold buried his face in a pillow and tried not to scream in frustration.


End file.
